Defensiveness Won't Raise More Money—But Vulnerability Might
Protecting yourself won’t deepen donor trust. And playing it safe won’t get your institution through this storm. Right now, higher education and nonprofit leaders are navigating turbulent waters.
Many advancement professionals are in survival mode—sticking to what feels safe and hoping stability returns. But behind the silence in professional circles, there’s real anxiety: shrinking budgets, staffing reductions, donor fatigue, and institutions demanding more while providing fewer resources.
Even the most strategic leaders hesitate under this weight.
It’s tempting to wait for stability, but here’s the uncomfortable reality: the landscape isn’t just shifting—it’s permanently changing. So the question isn’t when things will settle, but rather how we lead through this uncertainty? (👉 See last week’s newsletter.)
Advancement is built on relationships, and relationships require trust. That trust isn’t earned through defensiveness—it’s built through openness, authenticity, and a willingness to acknowledge the unknown.
This is where vulnerability becomes not just important but essential.
Because vulnerability isn’t weakness. As Brené Brown’s research has shown, it’s often the most accurate measure of courage—the foundation of trust, leadership, and authentic connection.
By the end of this newsletter, you’ll have three strategic ways to use vulnerability to strengthen donor trust, fundraising outcomes, and team resilience.
Why Avoiding Vulnerability Is a Risk
The natural instinct in times of uncertainty is to minimize risk. But playing it safe can actually create bigger risks:
🚨 Missed fundraising opportunities – If you’re only making “safe” asks, you’re leaving transformational gifts on the table.
🚨 Weakened donor trust – Donors can sense when an institution isn’t being fully transparent, making them less likely to invest.
🚨 Stagnant engagement – Alumni and donors are tired of transactional, one-size-fits-all outreach. Vulnerability—sharing real stories, challenges, and impact—is what deepens connections.
🚨 Eroding team morale – If advancement leaders don’t model openness, teams won’t feel safe pushing new ideas, challenging outdated tactics, or speaking honestly about challenges.
Vulnerability isn’t just about personal leadership. It’s a strategic advantage in communications, donor engagement, and institutional growth.
How Advancement Leaders Can Use Vulnerability to Their Advantage
The institutions and advancement teams that will thrive in the coming years won’t be the ones clinging to outdated practices. They’ll be the ones willing to adapt, experiment, and lean into the unknown. Exploring AI strategically is one example—embracing change rather than resisting it. Here’s how you can apply vulnerability in a practical, strategic way:
1. Vulnerability with Donors: Engage Beyond Transactions
Donors are fatigued by transactional fundraising appeals. They don’t just want updates; they want real conversations. Vulnerability in donor engagement means:
- Admitting challenges. Instead of pretending everything is perfect, share the real needs and gaps your institution is facing. Major donors respect transparency.
- Inviting partnership. Instead of seeing donors only as funders, position them as problem-solvers. Ask: How can we tackle this challenge together?
- Personalizing messaging. Move away from mass communications and lean into tailored, story-driven engagement that makes donors feel seen and valued.
2. Vulnerability in Fundraising Strategy: Ask for More
Fear of rejection is one of the biggest barriers to transformational fundraising. Many advancement professionals play it safe—asking for what they think a donor will say “yes” to instead of what is actually needed.
What if, instead, we viewed vulnerability as a strength in gift conversations?
- Be bold in your asks. If the need is $10M, don’t ask for $5M just because it feels safer.
- Be honest about the stakes. Donors respond to urgency and vision—not just another campaign goal.
- Be open about your process. If a donor is hesitant, don’t shut down the conversation. Ask what would make them feel confident investing at a higher level.
Recently, I met with a school's leadership team hesitant to be transparent about having limited resources tackle critical work. Following my suggestion, they shared their challenge with a few key donors and the response wasn’t what they feared—it was the opposite. One is now stepping up to underwrite the development of a much-needed new strategic plan, brand, and marketing efforts to strengthen enrollment and philanthropic engagement.
Their vulnerability didn’t weaken their case—it strengthened it.
3. Vulnerability in Leadership: Model Openness with Your Team and Donors
Vulnerability isn’t just about how we interact with donors—it’s also about how we lead. Advancement teams are under enormous pressure, and leaders who create space for open, human-centered dialogue will have stronger, more resilient teams.
Consider:
- Are you checking in with your team beyond deliverables? Not just on workload, but on how they’re handling pressure?
- Are you fostering a culture where it’s safe to challenge ideas? If your team feels they can’t question outdated strategies, they won’t bother proposing new ones.
- Are you modeling vulnerability yourself? Leaders who admit when they don’t have all the answers set the tone for a culture of learning and adaptability.
And here’s something we often forget: being heard fosters greater compassion from the person you're communicating with.
Strong fundraisers know this well—donors don’t just give because of polished messaging. They give because they feel understood. The same holds true for leadership.
